Life and Times of G: mai 2007

Butt: noun. short for buttocks

Back in 6th grade, our first year in DPS RK Puram. A very interesting championship was conceptualized by a few males of class 6 D. It is what we know today as, Butt Fight. For those who didn't know, you do now.

What is Butt Fight?
I'm Sure you've seen two people boxing. This is similar, its just butt boxing.

How did it originate?
Well it started because a certain Akshay Johar was obsessed with the Butt and nothing But. He was constantly seen thrusting his posterior around. And when people got irritated with his butt thrusting, they Butted him back. That's how it started. Dhruv Kumar was the man behind the name. et Voila, Butt Fight was born.

Give me some more details-
At first, the sport of Butt Fighting was very disorganised and lacked professionalism. The great minds of Gursartaj Singh Nijjar, Dhruv Kumar, Akshay Johar, Dhruv Kumar Singh, Abhishek Suri, Anubhav Jalta, and "others" got together and decided to take Butt Fighting to a higher platform. The Butt Fighting League(BFL) was formed, and anyone with a butt was free to join.
A first of its kind sport where the managing executives also competed against each other.

The matches were held in Room no. D-04, DPS RK Puram, right under madam Banerjee's nose. The competition wasn't fair. There were the people like Mr. Dhruv Kumar, who was, although smaller but was more agile. Hence, he couldn't compete with the Lards, and vice versa. Mr. Dhruv Kumar himself decided that the BFL had to be categorised. Hence the BUTT SIZE was born.
Butt size, as you can understand, measured the size of the butt, using a water bottle, primarily because no instrument has been designed to measure butt sizes. A standard Butt Size Measure(BSM) was decided upon and this was something that truly revolutionized the BFL. For example, a person like Dhruv Kumar, having a butt size 2, would compete in the super-flybutt category and a person like Abhishek Suri, with a butt size 14 would compete in the Super heavybutt category.

The rules
1. The competitors were required to hit each other with swift movements of their respective derrieres.
2. No hands were allowed.
3. The person who could successfully push someone against the boundary and keep him there for some time would win.
4. The winner was decided on the basis of cheer votes.

The Arena
Classroom, near the teacher's desk.

The Demise of the Butt Fighting League
Just when the BFL was reaching its peak, and plans for the great Butt-off were under way, a certain element of the opposite gender filed a complaint against the BFL, for vandalism. The BFL wasn't allowed to fight the case. A few tables were disturbed at times, specially during Heavybutt matches, but that's about it.

Champions of the BFL
1. Super Heavybutt champion- Abhishek Suri aka The SuperButt
2. Heavybutt Champion- Akshay Johar aka FunnyButt
3. Normalbutt Champion- Anubhav Jalta aka Jalta
4. Flybutt Champion- Gursartaj Singh Nijjar aka the ButtSurd
5. Super Flybutt champion - Dhruv Kumar aka the Buttmeister

May the BFL rest in peace
A report by Gursartaj Singh Nijjar