The Tribune, Saturday, 1st April 2006

The following was an article published in Saturday Extra, written by Khushwant Singh

It’s all gas

Scholars pick up odd subjects for research; the oddest Ihave ever heard of is the incidence of flatulence:what causes it; what are its constituents and risks involved in exposing oneself to it.

One such field survey has been recently carried out, appropriately in the region popularly called the underside of the earth — Australia and New Zealand.

Breaking wind or farting as it is commonly known is too delicate a subject to be discussed in polite society.

Nevertheless, our Sanskrit-speaking ancestors drew up a list of their varieties from Uttam padvi (the best kind) to Gupt daan (silent, stinking gift). Arabs regarded it as a social sin and ostracised men and women who did it in public.

On the other hand, there was a Frenchman who made his living blowing off a candle from a foot’s distance by a violent expulsion of wind from his derriere.

A newspaper clipping from an Australian daily sent to me by a friend living there summarises his findings. Both men and women break wind on an average of 14 times in 24 hours; wind-producing foods include beans, cabbage, cheese, eggs and fizzy drinks; a fart comprises 59 per cent nitrogen, 20 per cent hydrogen, 9 per cent carbondioxide 7 per cent methane and 4 per cent oxygen. They can travel at a speed of three metres per second. What makes some farts stink is hydrogen sulphide which contains sulphur and is less than 1 per cent of its constituents. It is believed to be inflammable. Research scholars are testing it by putting match sticks close to their ends to see it is correct. Setting one’s bum on fire is a small price to pay for discovering the truth.